Friday, August 15, 2008

I am a SPECIAL kind of stupid!

or "How I Know that I am Really At Home Now"

My family will appreciate this second title. I am definitely home here in Korea now because I had my first trip to the Emergency Room today!!

Being the good little housewife I am, I have been working on unpacking boxes and trying to get everything in order (another blog to come about the moving in of the House Hold Goods) and I even managed to do some dishes.
Now, as you can see from the drawing above, I have the dish drainer facing the wrong way, because the silverware holder is on the outside edge of the counter. And it tilts. And I washed a VERY sharp knife and set it in there to dry.

I went about puttering around, putting things away in the kitchen and turned to walk to the other counter when I . . . (and here is where the special stupid comes in) . . . walked INTO the VERY sharp knife! Yes, I impaled myself on the *&#%@* knife!!

Bear in mind, this isn't the first time I've done such a thing either!! Several years ago I had a paring knife in the dish drainer and brought the side of my wrist down right on top of it!!

I'm hot and sweaty and grungy from doing the boxes, and I am dressed but no bra. I immediately ran my arm under the tap water (let's hope it was pure enough!) and grabbed a paper towel and applied pressure. Then I went to the medicine cabinet to grab an ace bandage and I wrapped it around my arm to hold the paper towel in place, so I could put on a bra!! Didn't want to scare the natives and the hospital staff.

I shut off the hot water, latched Marlena into her crate and grabbed my purse and out the door. I got to the street corner and fished out my phone so I could call for a base taxi to pick me up, when my neighbor (whom I had just met this same morning) called hello to me and asked what I was up to. I said I was on my way to the ER (explained the whole special stupid to her) and was calling a taxi. She told me that her husband was just heading out the door to work on base (he is a contractor) and that he would take me. What a wonderful neighbor!!!

The physician at the ER determined that I did not need stitches, so the assistant put a couple steri-strips on and sent me up to immunizations to get a long overdue tetnus shot. I have to say, I think the assistant was fairly new to the whole job because she put the steri strips on as if they were bandaids, instead of using them to pull the wound together and hold it tightly. I think I'll live though LOL!!

The cut is about a half an inch long and looks like I gouged out my skin. When I got home, I examined the knife to determine how far in it had gone and from what I can tell, I impaled a good full inch of knife into my tender flesh. I have no tingling or loss of feeling or sensation though, so I'm sure that it will be fine.

I wanted to have it checked out though because the last time I self-impaled, I didn't have it checked and it probably needed a stitch that time. Plus, I haven't had a tetnus shot in about 15 years so all in all, it was a wise move to go visit my ER.

Now I am off to turn the dish drainer around!! No more self-inflicted physical idiocy if I can help it!!

I can't wait to tell Snuffles about my adventure today, and to warn him that he may be questioned. I realized that as I said that I walked into a knife, that it sounded like the lamest I fell down the stairs / tripped and hit the door knob with my eye excuse ever!! Hopefully they understood that it was what happened and there is no question about spousal abuse, but who knows? He has an alibi, I promise he didn't do it!!!

2 comments:

Missy Ann said...

It would have been classic if you hadn't put on a bra... You would be held as a godess with those bazookas!

Carol said...

You know, Snuffles asked why I took the time to put on a bra! I just looked at him. LOL!!